Monday, October 18, 2010

Answers: The First (Star Swans)

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to answer your questions. I've been unusually busy the last couple of weeks, but life ought to calm down after this week. Today, I'm going to answer the questions from Jackie, Krista, and Shellie about my YA Fantasy. The second two kind of echoed the first, so I'll just post Jackie's question.

Jackie asked, "When are we going to see a teaser/hook/pitch/tidbit of Star Swans?"

I'm going to share a couple of quotes from Star Swans' most recent critique--the first because it made me happy and the second because it's causing me stress.

"I am absolutely in love with what this book could be.  You have so many golden moments in here, so much that made me smile--and the story!  You have so much of it!  Furthermore, it's just classic enough to feel familiar when we slip into it, but it very much has its own flavor, which makes it fun and new.  I really don't think I've ever read a book with a style like yours."


"I really think this needs to be more than one book.  You have so much story, so much great story that I don't think you want to cram it into 90k words.  This overarching story could and should take 300k words or more, spread out in (I think) three books.  Yes, I just said three hundred thousand words.  Don't freak out--you have an advantage in that you have written a rough draft of much of the series.  That will help you."



So, now I'm deciding what to do with Q's advice, most of which was spot on. Star Swans has serious pacing issues that this would almost completely solve, but (much as I love this story) I didn't mean to spend the next five years of my life on it. I've known that I needed to write a prequel and a sequel since the second draft, but my CP wasn't referring to those. For fun, I wrote a teaser for each book that Star Swans would become if I split it into three.

The Star Swan: When Jaavan's mother becomes fatally ill, his best friend, Lani, suggests they seek healing from the Immortal Emperor's Star Swan, but even as they befriend the Star Swan, Jaavan learns how its master bound ghosts to become who he is and how the ancestors of the most important people in his life fought him.


The Mountain Shadows: Jaavan travels to Feoras where the Immortal Emperor holds Lani, but first, his mother and he have to cure the illness that the Immortal Emperor infected his mother's family with hundreds of years previously and find his father among the Mountain Shadows.    


The Sarki: In Feoras, Jaavan is betrayed to and protected from the Immortal Emperor by his sarki, and his hope that their master will take him and let Lani go are dashed from the beginning, but as Jaavan gets to know their master and his concerns, the Immortal Emperor's refusal to release Lani becomes the only major contention between them.

They're all a bit rough still, but it's not like I'm querying at the moment. I'll get to the rest of your questions over the next couple of weeks. Thanks for asking them!  


17 comments:

  1. "Furthermore, it's just classic enough to feel familiar when we slip into it, but it very much has its own flavor, which makes it fun and new."

    I totally agree with this, Q. In fact, I agree with it so much I wish I'd said it:)

    And Myrna, I'm sure you'll make the right decision about how to split/not-split the books up. Just go with your gut.

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  2. Okay, Q and Krista, since you've both read it, should I call the Ambroz the Immortal Emperor or the Ambroz?

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  3. Aw. I really want to read your manuscript. From what I've heard (plus this post) it's super good. :)

    Each of those three summaries seem plenty strong to stand on their own. But I haven't read it, so I can't say for sure.

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  4. Wow - that's very high praise indeed! And I love your teasers - can't wait to hear more about this project!

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  5. Myrna, the Immortal Emperor is obviously clearer, but there's something about the Ambroz that's so agreeable. I love the way it sounds, the way it tastes. Something about it just seems to fit the world you've built. For instance, pomegranates, Star Swans, and the Ambroz sound like they fit together better than pomegranates, Star Swans, and the Immortal Emperor.

    I definitely lean Ambroz (if you couldn't already tell:) ).

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  6. I like the idea of three books. Sequels are all the rage, right? And you don't want to hurry through your story.

    =)

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  7. Ps. It may even be quicker to write it when you aren't having to try to compact so much plot into one volume. (This, of course, assuming that the comment saying you had a lot of story for one book is correct.)

    =)

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  8. I am super intrigued! What a world you've built!

    And thanks for your help with my bioooo. It's hard being on this side of writing--instead of just reading queries and such, I have to try my hand at making sentences and such. Ah!

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  9. Ahh, I now totally understand why Star Swans is not at this moment in my inbox. I'm sorry about your quandry, Myrna!! I bet it wouldn't be hard to split it, though, honestly. When I split my recent book, I flew through writing the new draft because I'd done all the hard stuff already. Anyway, just wanted to encourage you ... Splitting it might turn out to be fun!

    Happy pondering.

    Amy

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  10. Hello again, Myrna! I'm back for comment number three to let you know I gave you an award this evening on my blog:)

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  11. Oooh, I can definitely taste a little of the flavor the CP talked about. Great praise! I need to be more like that in my critiques because I feel those things about my friend's books.

    I can see why you're in a quandary and why I haven't seen it yet--BUT I WANT TO!! This makes me want to read it all the more. :o)

    Thanks for sharing, Myrna!

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  12. Okay, Star Swans is an awesome title. ;)

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  13. This sounds fantastic! I love fantasy and reading your summaries I would snatch this book(s) up in a second.

    You (and Gwenyth) made my day! Thank you for reading it to her. And thank her for wanting to hear it again. :) Seriously, walking on clouds right now!

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  14. :) Before I got to the video clip my mouth dropped when I saw why you were stressed...from one book to three...But if that makes it better and more marketable, then you should go for it!

    Have a great week!

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  15. What great feedback. I esp love the one where you write like nobody else. That is a true compliment. Your hooks sound fantastic.

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  16. Upon further reflection, neither Ambroz nor Immortal Emperor. Something new, but I don't know what. I'm very helpful, I know.

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